i would punch a child for taco bell
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize