My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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