Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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