So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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