just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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