the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
