girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He shit in the fireplace
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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