I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
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