I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
