East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
True strength comes from lack of pants
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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