Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
