Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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