Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
