Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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