I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
