Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Pooping to opera.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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