I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
