she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
