Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
organizing the empties. That sober.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
