Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
