He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize