And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
