The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
