I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
my phone needs a breathalizer
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
