you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
We need a shit load of segways right now
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
