suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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