I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize