I feel great
I just peed on a car
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
