Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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