He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
