It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
