Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
