separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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