I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Randomize
