Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
