oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
