ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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