im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
