Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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