Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
