My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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