Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
