And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
