Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
