that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
