You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
We got so high we made milksteak
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
