His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
