I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Send help, water and tortillas.
You are the jesus of drinking
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
