I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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