I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
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