i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
