the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
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whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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