if i died would you start the facebook group?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
