well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i think i have herpe
just one?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
