Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just forgot I was standing up.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
