My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
