Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
