But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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