Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
