If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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