Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
