Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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