Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
