Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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