I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize