I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize