I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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