margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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