Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
operation harelip BJ is a go
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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